12 Days of Christmas

Healthy tips for the Holidays!

I’m just going to start out by saying, please spare me the eye rolls. I know this is a time to indulge. Even as a health and wellness mentor, I get it. It’s not that I don’t think we should, I think we can save ourselves some actual physical, mental and emotional agony though by not over doing it. There is a way to have your cake and eat it too.

(I still don’t get that) LOL!

Keep in mind, these are tips too! But I’ve found that I’d rather stay mindful and aware than full of regret and too much nut rolls. I really do think there is such a thing.

First off, remember Christmas is one day. Christmas Eve is one day. New year’s is one day. So what I think we tend to do is basically tell ourselves the “holidays” are the entire month of December. Which they are in a sense, but we don’t have to have to let that be our free ride to not give a crap. In fact, right now, I’d be doing all I could to just stay on top of things. Eating balanced meals, only having ONE cookie at the office lunch instead of 3 since it’s the “holiday” party. Continuing to get a 30 minute sweat sesh in and really stay mindful each day of what I’m consuming.

Next be sure to just drink tons and tons of water. I know you might think that makes you bloated and it doesn’t sound satisfying, but it’s going to keep your metabolism flowing, it’s going to keep things moving and breaking down as you eat them and make you feel much better each morning after some indulging.

Don’t get upset with yourself FOR indulging. This isn’t meant to confuse you since I just said it’s OKAY to indulge a little. This is meant to keep you aware of what you’re telling yourself while eating that cookie or having those drinks. I think we hurt ourselves more by getting down on ourselves for “splurging” and then guess what we do out of regret… splurge more. Hence, way more guilt which is harder to lose than weight. Girl just let yourself LIVE. Loosen up a little and I’ll bet you notice you are splurging less.

Like I said before, you best be sweating. Even some early morning yoga and stretching will wake your system up the right way.  This not only is helping your body continue to burn, you are continuing to just treat your body right, which in turn you’ll do in the kitchen too. However, I can’t stand when someone says they’re “earning” their dessert or working off all the buffalo chicken dip. Thinking of a workout that way is far more negative than you can imagine. Workout through the holidays because it makes you a better person. It helps you clear your mind and be more present. It serves your body and your soul too!

I’m going to give you some mental tips too. Because I think we center this time of year too much around “weight gain” and don’t pay near enough attention to mental strain, exhaustion, stress, anxiety – you name it. And you know why there is weight gain, all of those things come into play. So I recommend a quiet five minutes to yourself each morning. NOT scrolling your Facebook or checking your bank account. A quiet 5 minutes to think of all the things you’re grateful for. Just five minutes to imagine how happy you are and see yourself totally crushing the family gatherings and holiday parties. 5 minutes to really just soak in what your spirit needs and stay mindful of what this season is truly about. I recommend a daily devotion, maybe a quick 5 minute mindset focused video on youtube. Here is one of my absolute favs!

Finally just remember that you are in control of your choices. I know you’re around your entire family and friends, but your best you is you feeling your best. So when you’ve had enough, just stop. When you aren’t feeling that night out and know you need to stay in, that’s okay. Listen to what you need and in turn, you’ll be better for everyone around you.

Happy Holidays! Be sure to stay HAPPY too!

12 Days of Christmas

A few of my FAVS!

Okay here goes! I’d love to know your’s below!

Eggnog or hot chocolate? Definitely egg nog (especially with dark rum). I’ve grown into that answer!

click image for recipe!

Turkey or ham? This is a tough one for me but I’d have to say ham. The turkey is too hit or miss (depends the cook which is never me) and I like to fry the ham the next day for sammies! 

Decorating before or after Thanksgiving? Well this year we decorated before because we were out of town the week of Thanksgiving and I definitely didn’t want to do it after that long trip. So I absolutely loved coming home to the house already decorated. I recommend it if you’re going out of town for Thanksgiving. However, we did the outside lights after! 

He was CLEARLY thrilled!

Christmas eve or Christmas? No brainer. Christmas. I love Christmas Eve, but I don’t think anything beats that feeling on Christmas morning. And the nap in the afternoon. 

Real tree or fake tree? I wish I could say real, but I have way to much fear of fire so fake from here on out! 

The tree at my Mom’s! Every ornament tells a story & there are a LOT of them!

Wrapping paper or bag? paper! When I was a kid, I used to look forward to wrapping for my mom and grandma! I loved it. I’m not knocking bags, but honestly, the look of the pretty paper is worth it I think!  

Elf or The Christmas Story? Elf! I can’t believe I JUST watched it all the way through for the first time this year but I loved it. I loved what it stands for.

Pumpkin Pie or Apple pie? MMM pumpkin! With extra whipped cream! 

Top Five Favorite Holiday Movies!

It’s a Wonderful Life – I just can’t help myself! This movie is a bit dark, but the message in it should be broadcasted for all to see. It shares an important message that I think everyone needs especially around the holidays.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation – “The shitter’s full!” Need I say more?

The Santa Clause – I feel like I just grew up with this one. And I loved how it turned a nonbeliever into a believer! Oh and the man in charge.

The Holiday – A Christmas rom com and a classic I think. Makes me all mushy gushy which is more than necessary at times.

Home Alone – The original. Just because it honestly never gets old!

12 Days of Christmas

Favorite Holiday Throwback!

Each year there is ONE person I am MOST excited to watch open gifts.

And that’s grandma.

If she gets diamonds from pap, he always asks her what it is (lol)! And she always makes sure to mention she must’ve been really good that year! Even though he still says she’s on probation.

But the way her face lights up never disappoints. Nomatter what she’s given. I think one year it took her the longest to open gifts just because our entire family waits to watch her and just bask in the JOY that always come streaming across her face. I swear it’s better than any kid on Christmas! Really, she’s kinda like that all the time. Not just when gifts are involved. She’s one of the most expressive people I’ll ever know. Honest, blunt, loving, and so so funny.

This Christmas was the first time my Dad’s side of the family packed up and spent Christmas night and a few days after in a cabin in Deep Creek, MD. I was skeptical at first. Just because I was so used to spending my holidays the way I knew ever since growing up. And that was at grandma’s house. But I was open to the idea and looking back, that Christmas holds some of my favorite memories with my grandma especially.

She likes to play cards. They tried to teach us poker but honestly, it was too complex for me and even my sister and cousin. So instead our go-to game is called Shanghi! It’s such a fun game. Long, but fun. And you have to stay pretty alert to be able to “Shanghi” someone! The goal is to have the least amount of points at the end. Points coming from cards you were still holding when someone went down each round. I’m pretty sure it’s close to gin rummy, and we play it differently every time 😉 but it’s our favorite thing to do with grandma. She’s SO FUNNY! She’ll either get the rules wrong or (toot) like she did the last time we were playing. Seriously, we all burst into tears laughing. But really at this cabin, there wasn’t much more to do. Of course it didn’t snow like we’d hoped, so we couldn’t go sledding or skiing, so we stayed inside and out of the rain.

We played cards A LOT! One night, it was just her, my sister, my cousin Abby and me up until 1-2 in the morning. Just talking, carrying on. She can talk and she may have passed that down to us. We also watched some home movies while we were there. Which maybe I’m just sentimental, but every family should do that more. Especially to just see the looks on your elders faces as they watch you during a time you can’t necessarily remember. Seeing them relive those moments with us is really special.

This holiday throwback although having some sad times in the mix that year, was brightened by my grandma. She always finds a way to do that. She’s always down for a selfie. Always down to catch a bite to eat. She will always make you laugh. She might sometimes make you question your outfit choice or hair style/color decision, but she’ll always do it with love. I’m grateful for all she’s taught me and all the joy she reminds me to find all the time.



Break FREE in 2018 with 80 Day Obsession!

FULL TRANSPARENCY: I’ve been nervous, scared but excited for this new program – 80 Day Obsession! It’s definitely going to be different than anything I’ve ever done! And am I right when I say we so quickly fear new or different, but I really want you to just let your guard down for a few and totally picture yourself feeling the fear but doing it anyway. Because you’re no longer your 2017 self. You’re basing this off of who you want to BECOME in 2018!

I am looking to you if you are ready to #breakfree from any limiting beliefs, or bad habits you’ve picked up, or the mediocrity you’re settling for in your life, the weight, the anxiety, the depression. You’re ready to no longer base your future off your past. If you weren’t motivated before, doesn’t matter. If you’ve never been committed this long before, doesn’t matter. If you’ve failed before, doesn’t matter. I’ve heard so much already that people feel like they can’t based on what’s happened before in their past and truly not seeing this as the opportunity to prove to themselves they CAN! This program is about a MOVEMENT in our lives. I am scared, trust me! If you are too then this is perfect for you! I say that because this will not be a quick fix, but instead a process where we learn about really changing our life for the best, becoming obsessed with the process and progress! 

So if you’re just tuning in for the first time and already gulping or you’ve worked with me before or been following me for awhile and you had even a glimmer of  “I’m not enough..” pop up in your mind, then I not only want you to do this for you but especially with ME! I have every intention of breaking down my own limiting beliefs through this and not just in terms of my size or shape, but in my professional and personal life too, in every area of my life that can rise up.  Although, I can’t deny how excited I am to build a BAD booty! The purpose of this program is to take it one day at a time.

The Workouts

We’ve been able to sample a sneak peek into the workouts through A Little Obsessed which I tried out earlier in November and will be airing again on December 20th! My goodness they were fun! They gave us a sneak peek into what the workout styles are like! You will also have the chance to get your own sneak peek Dec. 20 – 24 AND all of the SPECIFIC workout equipment you need will be included no matter what route you go.

It truly feels like Autumn is your own personal trainer training you at the gym! Since you have the luxury of streaming your workouts anytime, anywhere from either your laptop, computer, Roku, Apple TV, Chromecast, iPad — the convenience factor is through the ROOF! It’s really the only reason I’ve stayed consistent this long. SO this brings the feeling of being there with your friends working out as the other cast members are being trained by her on screen! She says the right things at the right moments! Guys. 80 different workouts. You’ll never do the same one twice!!! I will also share a quote that said it BEST from test group member, Kristina Delgado: “Here’s an interesting observation: If Autumn charges $150 per hour for her services as personal trainer—80 Day Obsession is tantamount to over $11,000 worth of personal training. How crazy is that?!?!”

CRAZY. Even crazier once you realize how much you’re saving in this promotional period too!

There are 3 phases and they intensify as you go! Which means you’ll get stronger and you’ll sculpt even MORE! However, I will state that I have read this is not necessarily a place you begin in your fitness journey. Do I think it will be impossible for you? Nope! But I also know we have many, many options for you to get started with (shorter style programs) that will be a perfect seg way into this! If you have even a little fitness or athletic experience under your belt, you’re ready. No matter how advanced or intermediate you are, this will be challenging and it’s meant to be! We’re here to #breakfree remember?! We will be utilizing resistance loops, sliders and weights!

The Nutrition

It’s all timed out! Ever heard of it? I used to have absolutely NO idea how to eat! Seriously. I thought salads would help me reach my 35+ pound weight loss goal but my body was seriously dying for more nutrients and it always back fired. I got bored. I never found healthy eating to be satisfying. Until I learned how insanely simple it actually is. All you have to do is eat the right amounts of the right foods and add in some extra nutrients along the way to give your body what it NEEDS to be it’s best. It actually wants more and more whole nutrition and craves greens. I know, trust me. I never thought I’d see the day. But I’ve never felt better since uncovering this.

And the program utilizes this portioning system, which is very easy to understand thanks to color coded perfectly portioned out containers along with the nutritional supplement, Shakeology! (more on that later) The meals, the foods, are timed out specifically throughout the day. Like I said before, I was nervous about this! Then I thought, well wait?! Won’t that simplify things even more. We not only have the exact food lists and portions, but now we know when to eat what to see our best results. Sure it may feel challenging at first, you may feel overwhelmed, you may have to rearrange some things in your life, but there is freedom to be found in discipline. Oh and RESULTS! Insane results! So give it a chance. Is what you’re doing right now really making you feel the way you want to feel? Then let’s get to planning and evolving girlfran.

Coming from someone who used to laugh at healthy eating, I really will credit my mental wellness (aside from my 35 pound weight loss) to the good food I now consume. Once your body gets a taste of what good really feels like, it’ll want it more and more!

A Chance to be in the Official Test Group with creator and trainer Autumn Calabrese! (say what?!)

So what’s a test group? WELL! When this program launched before any of us actually knew about it yet, there were specific people selected to “test” the program before it was released! They followed it to be the first results, the people who got to show “HEY THIS WORKS!” They were coached personally by Autumn! They got a very incredible experience throughout it but talk about accountability. Now for the very first time ever, we’re opening up a group for YOU to test this as it drops to the public and have the opportunity to be featured in the infomercial. If you’d like more info on this, please don’t hesitate! I will tell you, if you’re going to do this, I believe this is the way. I mean when will you get the chance to go through a program and test it for the public, do it with the trainer who created it walking you through it, create the bonds with the people along your side and see insane results from kicking A$$?! I’m not sure when soooo…!


First of all. A chocolate smoothie while you’re following a “no cake” meal plan. I MEAN! Or vanilla, cafe latte, strawberry, tropical green berry and so on. OH the recipes!!! It’s seriously a dessert I look forward to every day. But you’re looking at the biggest shakeology skeptic — ever. Or at least I was. I had no intentions of ever incorporating it and every time I tried a program, even with the portioning — I FAILED. And here‘s why! Ever wonder why you’re like still dying to crush cookies at night or make that Taco Bell run when you’re trying to be healthier. Or why you’re not all the way filled up with the plan that’s best for you? What I’ve learned, from the co-creator himself, is our bodies need WAY MORE than even 8 salads can give it. So what happens when your body isn’t fueled the way it needs to be? It stores fat or won’t let go of it because it feels deprived, it’s panicking. You’re also craving those crazy things because it’s not fully satisfied AND you crave what you eat. So when you incorporate over 70 superfoods and 24 vitamins minerals into your daily diet, well — you tend to make different decisions the rest of the day too! So while I was skeptical 2 years ago, I will tell you NOW that it’s changed my entire life. Mainly because it truly works on your insides which in turn you see a change in a much bigger and lasting way on the outside. I not only lost the weight but have become the healthiest I’ve ever been and consistently. It will play a HUGE role in your success in this program and any lifestyle goals you have. You will need this to keep your body fueled in a way that even the best meal plan can’t do! It will fill in the gaps for you and satisfy that sweet tooth! 😉

One last detail!

Our performance line is playing a vital role in the completion and results being shown in this program! The two highly recommended products are a pre workout (energize) and post workout (recover)!

Energize is pictured here! It tastes like lemonade, I look forward to it before my workouts, and it doesn’t make me all CRAZY like a cup of coffee even does. There is a good boost without the dangerous, jittery side effects. It is all natural, uses a powerful combination of ergogenic (performance enhancing) ingredients and phytonutrients that are scientifically proven to improve exercise performance, sharpen your focus and delay muscle fatigue! That means you’ll be able to push through longer and harder and the results will show it. I started using this product about a year ago and I did see a change in my results, but also in my workouts. I started to enjoy them more, I was able to stay more focused and use better form because of it AND it’s the ultimate accountability. Once I drink this, it’s GO TIME!

The post workout, recover, is going to help you show up again the next day with the same power you had the day before. You know how hard it is to push through another workout due to soreness, let alone get motivated to do it because you can’t walk (lol)! Well, this helps repair your muscles, tastes like Nesquik (and the orange flavor tastes like a creamsicle)  and is better than just a simple protein. It helps reduce muscle breakdown, support your muscle growth, fight exercise induced muscle soreness, and jumpstart your body’s natural rebuilding process so you can come back better and stronger. These are highly recommended for best results and honestly to just enjoy yourself more. It’s also important to take care of your body and this is the best way how.

I know that may have seemed like a lot! But I wanted to be as open with you as possible. Now I’d LOVE to hear from you whether you’re in or out. Just to see how you’re feeling. I have only heard from everyone who’s in that they’re scared but EXCITED! So I’m telling you it’s okay to feel the doubts, but don’t let them win. The whole point of this 80 day process is to finally change that thinking and change your LIFE because of it. Also, please don’t feel like you have to do this alone.There are MANY ways to save during this PRE LAUNCH we’re hosting right now that you can take advantage of! You will be saving hundreds and I’m not exaggerating! Below is a form for you to fill out if you are at all interested in working with me through this and the exclusive group to work with Autumn Calabrese or even just want to learn more! That is not a requirement, but an opportunity of a lifetime. I look forward to hearing from you and helping you change your life in the most RAD way possible!


I hope you have an amazing holiday! And I hope we can connect in some way!  Below are some of the amazing transformations from people who truly DID overcome so much to see these results. Keep in mind that change doesn’t come without challenge, but the challenge is what changes you! I don’t think they’re regretting it.

12 Days of Christmas

Favorite Gifts Under $25!


I am writing this in the sense of my favorite gifts to give AND get! I also absolutely love knowing you can give such a valuable gift for such a reasonable price. Because am I the only one who wants to give literally everyone something? HAHA! Here’s a way to make giving to MORE people, more affordable.

I like the idea of giving an “experience” to someone. And these days I feel like more and more people aren’t doing this as often because it’s just so expensive to go. But there’s nothing like a nice movie night out. I got a Fandango gift card one year for Christmas and it was one of the best gifts I’ve ever received! It made wanting to treat myself and someone else to a nice movie seem stress free and guilt free! I absolutely loved it! And you can get a few movie showings out of it for $25!

Don’t underestimate the power of a wildly cozy and comfy throw blanket. I swear, sometimes we may think “well it’s just a blanket” but I don’t know many people who don’t love a nice, new plush throw blanket. I know I can’t really relax for a movie or show on the couch without being covered up. I can’t nap without it either.

You just simply can’t go wrong with something you can eat or drink. In this case I’d say more along the lines of drink. A nice bottle of wine can go a long way or bottle of liquor (depending your audience) paired with a snack of some sort OR just 2 bottles of wine (again depending your audience)!

I might seem old for saying this, but SOCKS! I don’t just mean the plain white sneaker socks. I’m talking the fun, trendy, stylish kind. It seems like I always stock up then lose some OR I can’t ever have enough. Fun sets of tights, socks, and HATS are my favorite. If someone bought me an assortment of these things, I guarantee I’d wear them more than the one pair of pants. Am I making you rethink your gift giving yet!?

I was going to take the time to type out all of these choices but how about instead I’ll say “LITERALLY” almost anything in TJ Maxx, Homegoods and Marshalls. When I know I need a solid gift for an affordable price, I roll in there. Between the knick knacks, to the fairly priced frames, to the mugs and snacks and wall hanging pictures and books. You name it! In fact, one year I think I covered one whole side of my family in one of those stores for like $100!

For the sentimental type: a framed photo or blown up photo on a canvas.  The look on my Dad’s face a few years ago when we gave him a photo of my sister and I for above his fireplace was priceless. Although it wasn’t under $25 because my uncle took care of it for us being he was the photographer and we were really, really poor college students at the time, it did spark the idea for many christmases following and really any occasion that a photo is worth so much but actually can cost so little. Or even just printing a photo and hitting up TJ Maxx for the affordable frame. This is one of my favorite gifts to give, especially for family. And really to receive! The more photos around of the ones I love, the better in my opinion.

That’s all for now. Until my Mom supplies me with some genius ideas because I know she will. I hope whatever you give, you give with love. And whatever you receive, you give love back for it!



My Monster

I feel like I’ve been trying to write this for awhile. But to be honest, it’s not always easy to explain or try to make sense of why my mind literally wants to make me miserable, why I feel like I can’t control where it’s going and what the heck that feels like. Cause it doesn’t feel good.

So I’m not writing this to tell someone what to do, to tell them what they feel is right or wrong, or to even give you a solution, but I am writing this to tell you that you’re not alone and that I am doing certain things that are helping. I am putting one foot in front of the other and in some way, I know you can do that too; in whatever way you need.


Since I came out of the womb I think I was a “worrier”. I felt my bedroom was too far from my parent’s growing up so as a kid (not baby or toddler) so I had them put a baby monitor in my room and in their’s just in case something happened and they couldn’t hear me. I wouldn’t sleep under my window. I created a silk, see through cover for my doorway of my room so I could still sleep with my door open but try to keep the wasps out during the summer. I am actually so terrified of wasps that I jumped out of an unparked vehicle (that was my Dad’s) to escape one; which in turn crashed through my Mother’s fence – but that’s a story for a different day. I created a fire escape plan for my family.  I wouldn’t stay at friends’ houses.  I wouldn’t go to school when I was younger. I hated it, feared it, worried about literally EVERYTHING about it. Until some days I just didn’t and then other days I just did. And then I didn’t and then I did. Some days I was okay, some days I wasn’t. And I must say, so much confusion and suffering has gone on in my life because of the “sometimes is and sometimes isn’t” moments. These feelings came on YOUNG so I will say I’ve spent my entire life trying to sift through them and worst of all; having anxiety about having anxiety. The moment your mind goes in a direction that scares you or feels weird, or you get that ONE negative thought and it spirals because even when I’d come out of that – I’d WORRY about it happening again.

This has come and go. It could be a chemical imbalance, it could be hormonal, or it could just be ME. Who I AM. But I do feel like I have a choice in how I handle the way my mind works, how I handle the way I live IN SPITE of my past and moments of true exhausting worry where I’m led to totally wanting to escape via passing out. We all have a choice and I hope I can shed some light to help you better understand that you DO and you can make it at any moment. You’re always stronger than you think.

It flares up every now and again. Mainly when I let it and then feed it. For example, these last few months it’s been very evident. MAINLY because so much NEW is going on in my life. I’m pushed outside of what feels comfortable everyday. But I say flare up because it does feel like a rash or an illness. If a rash flares up and you keep scratching and scratching, I bet it gets worse. I BET it spreads. I bet it takes over your whole body. THAT is how anxiety has felt for me. It’s taken me to a place where I don’t even recognize myself, where I can’t even tell what’s real and what’s my effed up mind playing tricks on me out of fear and worry (that are also not real btw). It’s tough because just like any aggressive rash, you have to catch it early to really keep it from doing a lot of damage. You can’t feed the beast in other words. You have to learn how to silence it EARLY and QUICKLY before it sets up camp in your brain for who knows how long to make you think who knows what. It’s incredibly tough and again, I’m speaking from MY OWN experiences here.

I’m speaking on what I GO through so in no way am I trying to tell you that if you don’t feel the way I feel, it doesn’t count. One of the HARDEST things about the way I feel sometimes is how isolating it is because I don’t know HOW to even make sense of this to someone else. And often when someone who has no idea how it feels to battle this their whole life tries to tell you it could be this or it could be that — well that’s hard too. Why? Well for me, it creates MORE anxiety in my mind and life making me question who I am!

Hence why I’m writing this. I wanted to get my mind and my life out there. I wanted to remind myself that it’s ok to not be ok, but it’s NOT OK to stay that way. Again, it’s a constant battle and I may lose some fights but I won’t lose the war. I know that. I’m aware of that. And I work on somehow NOT letting myself think about it day in and day out while also thinking about it to stay ahead of it and stay aware of it. Much of what I was doing was filling my head with what if’s. Things I literally couldn’t make sense of. Imagining myself just totally failing, totally falling, totally breaking down into a panic attack during a very comfortable and normal time. Being distant from ones I love to protect myself from having those thoughts. Being halted with overwhelm when it came to literally putting a foot on the floor in the mornings.

And then when I was avoiding growth because well, it would probably make me anxious and question everything in my life and I just wasn’t in the mood that day, I sat down and watched a speech given by Mel Robbins anyway. I know every day, no matter what, I’ll never give up, ever. That I will always come out on the other side, that I have so much to be grateful for, so it was time to start living that way, being in control and feeling the strength to fight off this BS in my brain. I watched a speech and sobbed during the close. She shared how she too had probably come out of the woom a worrier. She had panic attacks often and had been on medication for years and years. She’s now medication free and uses a simple method that literally TRICKS her brain out of the anxiousness.

She counts to 5-4-3-2-1 and CHOOSES what she wants to focus on. Did you know that ACTUALLY your body feels the same sensations when it’s anxious as it does when it’s excited. So really it’s up to YOU to decide which you’ll choose. Now let me inform you that I’ve tried all KINDS of focus exercises and nothing’s worse that expecting something to change after trying it once and when it doesn’t just TOTALLY feeling even more defeated. That’s been me in this area of my life. I finally realized one workout wouldn’t get the weight off and one date wasn’t going to bring me my soul mate (although it kinda did in this case) but I learned that you gotta water and nurture EVERYTHING in life. The same went for this exercise. I couldn’t just keep working through the anxiousness and then stop and hold my breath til it came back. It had to become a daily practice, something I kept my faith in every single second of the day, because over time, things WILL change with commitment and dedication to your better self on the other side.

I will say, I have stopped myself more times in the last week or so and said 5-4-3-2-1 ‘STOP SABOTAGING YOURSELF’ than I have in my whole life. When we ACTUALLY stop and hear what we’re saying to ourselves, or what I’ve been saying to myself lately, I’m literally like disappointed. I’m reminded it doesn’t have to be real unless I want it to be. I say (in my head usually lol!!) “5-4-3-2-1 choose love and not the fear you have from your past.” “5-4-3-2-1 choose to believe you’re strong and you’re alive and well! You can do anything!” or “5-4-3-2-1 you’re EXCITED not full of anxiety” and finally “5-4-3-2-1 do not judge your tomorrow based on today. Grow your life in this moment, don’t kill it!” I’m just naming a few that have been so helpful. Because when Mel Robbins asked what would you think of yourself if a loud speaker was attached to your mind every single day? I thought, I’d think “that’s not who I want to be.”

As I come back to this passage after a few weeks have gone by, I’m happy to report that I THINK being open with myself changed everything. Now I’m so excited to be open with all of you. You know, something like this living inside you can feel debilitating. It’s not fair to question yourself or fear what others will think because you’re not who they thought you were. One of the biggest reasons I was so afraid of ever shedding THIS much light on this is fearing people wouldn’t believe me. CRAZY right? Mainly because I HAVE spent so much of my life finding ways to work around it, avoiding it, actually putting myself down for some of these moments, sweeping them under the rug and putting on the bravest face I could find. For a few years, one that was brought on by alcohol. But you can put on a brave face EVEN when you’re hurting, when you’re healing. It doesn’t have to be because you’re hiding something. But instead you’re owning who you are and taking a step anyway.

I truly have felt a shift in my life since writing this. And I mean it when I say I’ve come along way on a personal growth journey in the last 2 years. But no matter what, we always have to be open to dealing with the next “monster” that knocks on our door, which I really wasn’t doing recently. As much growth as I’ve felt and seen, I still needed to really own this side of my story. And maybe the expression is truly what I needed. To not have it weighing on my heart and soul anymore, to not continue to feel ashamed but start working through the fact that if anxiety is my monster, I’ll grow bigger and stronger. Instead of pretending it’s not there, hiding from it, wishing it away and only SOMETIMES acknowledging it. I’m full blown accepting what I struggle with and therefore — beating it more and more each day. Really it’s in the tiniest moments. I haven’t felt like I was drowning in a few weeks. My smile feels different. I’m happier around my friends, boyfriend, family. I’m making better choices for myself and seeing positive outcomes instead of negative ones. Because you know what worrying all the time can do to you, make you feel like you don’t deserve all the happiness, love and success in the world. But I decided I didn’t want that. 

My faith in God has played a huge role. Creating a STRONGER relationship with him and knowing in my heart that whatever it is, I can give it to him. Taking control of my physical health daily with exercise and recently just feeling a difference from even a change in diet is affecting my mind. It’s SO REAL!!! (more on all of this later) Being more open with myself and not being the first to judge myself but the first to lend myself a hand. Also really paying close attention to my energy, my body language, staying really aware of where my mind’s at. But NOT in a way of worrying about worry but in a proactive way of staying in a place that serves me, that is LOVE focused, joy focused and LIFE centered.

Thank you for listening. Let’s go on this wild ride together. I plan on never letting my foot off the gas and pretending it’s gone because monster’s can always come back in the dark if we let our light burn out.


A Momma inspired meal!

Well, if you know anything about my momma or me, you know we love to eat!

But I’m finding (and I won’t say in my older age) that by sharing those tastes that are so near and dear to me, I’m truly finding the real meaning behind good eats!

Originally, these eggs cups were wrapped in ham! But I didn’t have any so I decided to line the muffin pan with turkey bacon! Don’t forget to add a little non stick spray first.

Then I used about one egg per cup (beating them first) and filled each one. You can use anything with it that you’d like, but I chose basil, spinach, tomato and mozzarella cheese. I baked it at 350 for about 30 minutes!

NOW if you’re like me, you love crispy bacon. It didn’t get as crispy as I would’ve liked in the muffin pan so for the last 10 minutes I moved the egg cups to a cookie sheet so the bacon could get a little more done!

All depends on preference!

I grabbed these and ate them just like a muffin.

PLUS you can make them in bulk and have them all week for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

I know that’s my momma and I’s plan.

I hope you enjoy them as much as we did! ❤️